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Today, my friend told me what he wrote on his Valentine's card to his girlfriend: "Roses are red, violets are blue, the sink's in the kitchen, so why aren't you?". I lol'd.

Today, after being on a drinking binge for three days, my friend turned up for work at 10pm at night. He starts work at 8am. He thought it was the morning of the next day and he was two hours late.

Today, while working at Game, a man came in asking if we had any PS3 controllers with longer leads. He didn't realise the controllers are wireless, and thought the little charger lead was the actual lead. I lol'd.

Today, while working at pizza hut a lady asked me if bbq wings have bbq sauce on them. I waited until she hung up, then I lol'd.

Today I watched that video of the guy looking at naked pictures on the computer without realising he was on national television. Link is here. I lol'd.

Today at work (I work medical collections) I called a man and was checking the info, and the referring doctor was a urology place. I meant to say, "Be advised this is an attempt to collect a debt" but instead said "Please be advised this is an attempt to collect a dick... I mean debt!' I was so embarrassed, but lol'd.

Today, while working at McDonald's, one of my massively overweight managers came in, with her arm in a sling. She's 21 and she just got a Pacemaker. I lol'd. Then felt bad.

My manager tells me she's going to the store to buy some items for the hotel. The Director of Sales stands up and mentions that he is going too. He asks the Ops Manager what she was getting, "Emergency items." she says, and without missing a beat he answers "What, batteries and tampons?" I lol'd.

Today, I was using a program called Drill Assistant. When I tried to open a file, it directed me to a folder where the program is installed. The folder is called "Drill Ass." I lol'd

Today I was at work, cashiering at a grocery store early in the morning. I noticed a man standing to the left and a pregnant woman to the right; I noticed on his shirt he had two stick figures, a man on the left, and a woman on the right, and the woman had a giant belly. Underneath read 'bullseye'.