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Today I saw my friend walking oddly down the street, taking differently lengthed strides. He's a bit OCD, but otherwise perfectly normal. I caught up with him and asked what he was doing. He calmly said "Oh, I just can't walk on the cracks because none of my dreams will come true if I do." I lol'd.

Today, I was in a public toilet and saw the following graffiti: "RIP JD SALINGER, AUTHOR OF THE BOOK THAT SPAWNED THE BELOVED PORNO: CATCH HER IN THE EYE". I lol'd.

Today, me and my friends wanted to play some football, but the ball was flat. I said, "we can't play with this, it's too soft". My friend immediately added "that's what she said". I lol'd.

Today, my brother went shopping to get a pair of shoes. He hates shopping. He came home with a nice pair of shoes. However, he'd somehow managed to get one size 8 shoe, and one size 10. I lol'd.

Today, while playing football, a team-mate accidentally kicked the ball into an opponent's face. His shoe also came off and hit the guy square in the nuts - an incredible double whammy. I lol'd.

Today, while in the shop with my mam she asked a guy at the till if the sun was out. The guy looked outside and went "uuuh...". It was lashing rain. She was talking about the newspaper. She was embarrassed. I lol'd.

Today, on the bus an old man kept muttering to himself under his breath. Most passengers just ignored him until he shouted, "VERY NICE LEGS" at a girl waiting to get off the bus. The poor girl was mortified. I lol'd.

Today I saw this weird picture of a donkey. I lol'd.

Today, I saw an advertisement for a flooring company called 'Lino Ritchie'. I lol'd.

Today, I was on the bus with a few friends, the bus went silent, another passenger announced this. My friend then burped. I lol'd.