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Today I found out there's a place in Pennsylvania called 'Intercourse'. I lol'd. [Editor's Note: 'Tis true.]

Today on the bus, there was a man in a suit, with a briefcase, and wearing leather gloves. Complete business look. When he sat down I could see his socks - bright ones with kangaroos on them. I lol'd.

Today, me and my friends went to this trendy to new bar. I went to take a photo, and as I was backing away to get a good angle, I bumped into someone. I turned around while apologising. I turned around to see a mirrored pillar. I had just apologised to myself. I lol'd.

Today, my brother went shopping to get a pair of shoes. He hates shopping. He came home with a nice pair of shoes. However, he'd somehow managed to get one size 8 shoe, and one size 10. I lol'd.

Today at school, the principal caught a girl smoking in the bathrooms. He came into my class to tell my teacher this, and said "I've just fingered a girl in the toilets for smoking and -" he didn't finish his sentence due to the raucous laughter of the class. We lol'd.

Today, while playing football, a team-mate accidentally kicked the ball into an opponent's face. His shoe also came off and hit the guy square in the nuts - an incredible double whammy. I lol'd.

Today I asked my sister if she knew the capital of Spain. She replied "Mexico?". She's 24 and working full time in a decent job. I lol'd.

Today, it was my grandmother's birthday and my grandfather bought her a neck massager as a present. When we arrived to their house my grandmother said to my mother, "oh wait until I show you the vibrator that your father bought me!" I lol'd.

Today, my friend told me what he wrote on his Valentine's card to his girlfriend: "Roses are red, violets are blue, the sink's in the kitchen, so why aren't you?". I lol'd.

Today, after being on a drinking binge for three days, my friend turned up for work at 10pm at night. He starts work at 8am. He thought it was the morning of the next day and he was two hours late.