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Today I heard the word fuckalukadingdong. I lol'd

Today in the supermarket a lady asked me to get a box of rice off the top shelf for her. I'm 6' 4", she was about 5'. So I smiled and asked her to please grab me a can of chili off the bottom shelf. She lol'd. I got the rice for her. She said thanks and left. I lol'd and got my own chili. Bitch.

Today, my friend told me the funniest joke ever: "There are four gay guys sitting together in a bath tub. All the sudden, a little cum floats to the top of the water. First thing anyone says is: 'Who farted?'" I lol'd.

Today, I was at my cousin's house playing video games. I heard a loud crash, only to hear screaming from the stairs afterwards. My cousin had fallen, and I was sitting there laughing at him while he was crying. It turned out that he had sprained his ankle very baldy. I felt guilty, but I lol'd.

Today I was at a movie and got some popcorn. The guy behind the counter said "enjoy your movie" and I said " you too." It took me a second and then i said "Shit, sorry" then walked away. He lol'd

Today after a night of heavy drinking I split a cab with a girl I didn't know who said she was going the same way. When she asked to pull over so she could use a payphone the cabbie informed me that she was a prostitute and was going to get her pimp. We drove off, I was freaking out, then I lol'd.

Today, I went out to my garden and there was a random, mysterious burger on the steps. Completely untouched. I lol'd

Today I saw an angry woman throwing all sorts of things out of her trunk, she was yelling about how her husband had cheated on her. All the stuff was his. A man was trying to stop her from breaking the TV, I thought he was the husband. He was just a guy who wanted a TV. She gave it to him. I lol'd.

Today my family and I were at the mall. We turned the corner and walked by a gorgeous young lady. As I turned my head to see if my brother had spotted the hottie he was turning to do the same. We lol'd.

Today I saw an ad that said, "Want famous friends like The Jonas Brothers?" I lol'd extra hard.